emaculation_115

I've been busy. I let go. I've been happy. I've learned there's some thing I'll never be able to change. I'm been making money & spending it just as fast. I'm getting more confident in myself by the day. I'll be done with school in a month. I'll be switching jobs! I'm getting butterflies from thinking this is the beginning of something new. I'm also trying not to put up a wall to block out something new. I haven't "liked" somebody in forever that I forgot what it feels like until now. I feel like I can trust someone because they haven't broken that part of me yet. I've realized just how horrible people can be when they're only thinking of themselves. I realized that my best friend and I are more compatible then any other friends I'll ever hang out with. Bitter or better=better. I know not to get attached. This may not make any sense to anyone other then me, but that's all that matters.

I've had a great weekend. Friday I had some people over just for some hangout time and some beeeeeer pong. That was after I closed the back office at work and Sara and I accomplished some cleaning and all that good stuff in the morning. Saturday we went to the zoo and then I had to close the liquor store at work, and then we went to The Casbah and had a girls night, which are always amazing. I had to work this morning, from 10:00-7:00. And by the way, on Friday I got to bed at 6:00am, so actually I went to sleep on Saturday. Then I slept for 3 hours and went to the zoo, so on top of all this fun, I've had no sleep. But it's all worth it! I'm going to do some cleaning that's necessary right now, and by cleaning, I mean laundry. And then I need to sleep! I don't have to work for the next two days. :] Tomorrow morning will just be chill and tomorrow night I'm supposed to hang out with Josh, after school. And Tuesday is up in the air, I may have to pick up Justin from the airport after school that night. Then I'll be working with school all the rest of the week. Loves it! Oh, and I love karma, just saying. :]

to let someone who does not even have one care for me anymore get me down. Especially when they aren't even trying to. I realize though, that guys will always lie. There will always be something to lie about and some new girl who takes your spot. Girls will be skanks, and also liars, and pretend to help you with what you're going through, all the while getting the guy who put you through it. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I do not trust people. Because in the big picture, you're all a bunch of liars, and here I am, being paranoid forever, only because I was correct. I really, really needed to get that out. I'm vowing to myself that from here on out I am not bothering to come in contact with anyone who may get me into feeling like I need to ask about how you are, or anything for that matter. I'm done caring, for once.

I'm taking my brother to the airport tomorrow morning. I'll have the house to myself for almost a week. Sara will be here for most of it with me probably. And also on the list of things to be done tomorrow, is getting my nails done. Then I need to make sure my car gets cleaned at some point, I have school, and I want to make dinner tomorrow night. Staying busy is necessary, as well as staying happy. This weekend will be a lot of work, like normally. I actually don't work until 4:00 on Saturday so I want to go to the beach that morning. I'm hoping Sunday night will turn into slip & slide & camp night, and then I'll enjoy a couple days off work next week, during the week. I cannot wait to graduate next month, and I'll actually have a night life.

It's hot outside! I thought it was Fall, Florida, wtf! We had a few beautiful days, don't get me wrong, today is not bad, but fuck man, I thought it was going to start staying a little cooler outside during the day! I had to be in work at 9:00 this morning and I work until 6:00. It's my Mommy's birthday, 52, old lady! ;] My Brother is going to New York next week so we're going to have a camping event at my house. Full on with slip & slide! Woo! He just has to come home to the house in one piece, like he said, cause he knows "you and Sara get a little crazy when it comes to drinking with the slip & slide", hahaha. I colored Michelle's hair yesterday but since she's a sissy and chose the opposite color of what I told her to get cause she thought the other would be "too violet", she ended up getting no violet. So needless to say, we're redoing it today, my way, so we can make it perfect. I'm talking my Dad into taking me and my Mom to Ruth's Chris for dinner tonight for her birthday, so hopefully he will. There's something about him not wanting to go cause so-and-so is eating there tonight, blahblah.  I told him we can sit far away, haha. I just want some steak! Okay, I'm going back to work in a few, I'm just in a really good mood and I love when that happens!

We watched Ghost's Of Girlfriend's Past (I think that's what it's called?) tonight in school. We had a movie & PJ night. So much fun. The movie didn't help much, just made me imagine my life 10 years from now, when I run into this guy somewhere and all those stupid feelings come back. Is that pathetic? Haha, I guess that's what happens when you truly love someone. You associate them with everything. But regardless, the movie was really good.
And I got to sleep in this morning and decided to clean. It's so nice outside, weather wise. I cleaned my whole room up, did my laundry, cleaned up the house & my bathroom. I kept my windows open all day and it was amazing. I love the fresh air coming in and it not being deathly hot. I feel accomplished. I feel really strong though, out of everything. I feel like I'm holding myself together and not letting myself break apart this time.

I'm pretty tired, for real. School was good, did a great color on a lady that came in. I have work at 6:00 so I'm hoping to pass out soon. Sara and I are planning to go to The Landing tomorrow night which should be fun. And Saturday I have to close the back office at work, so I don't get to go to Burbon Street with Tiff for Kaleena's birthday. :[ And Sunday I'm going to a bike race & the beach with Sara then I'm having dinner with my family for yet another Jewish holiday. Then it'll be time for a new week already. Scary how it just seems like it's going to race by. Why can't my school time race by? Or my emotional time, so I can wake up and feel like this was just all a bad dream and that I'm okay? Fuck, man. 

I cut Dom's hair today and it came out really good (in my opinion at at least, haha). The drive to my school was dope, I'm still a little gone. I'm going to do some laundry and pass out probably and I FINALLY get to sleep in tomorrow. How exciting!?

This week is going as following...I worked Thursday from 6:00-3:00, yesterday from 10:00-7:00, today from 6:00-3:00, tomorrow from 2:00-11:00 and Monday, Tuesday and Thursday from 6:00-3:00. And of course I have the lovely thing called school every night. Friday I'm going to stay at a cabin that Sara's friends are getting in Hanna Park which should be loads of fun. Drink-itty drink! And then I'll probably work all of next weekend. Glorious, I tell you, glorious. At least my paycheck will be bank for next week, I'm excited about that. And Sara stayed with me last night cause Brandon & Matt came over and we both had to be into work super early this morning. She's staying tonight also but her butt is out partying and I just got home, so I'll probably be passed out before she even gets here! Okay, now that I told my weekly story, I'm done. :]